Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Pregnant in Over-priced Flip Flops

While yesterday seemed to go well--I had my appointment with the midwife. I heard the baby's heartbeat, I've gained no weight, and my blood pressure is awesome. I've had a two week break from morning sickness. I still couldn't really eat normally (clearly one of those girls who writes those skinny bitch cookbooks is trapped inside my stomach), but at least I didn't want to hide in the covers or have to carry a bag in the car. However, yesterday, my "morning sickness" came back with avengence. To make matters worse, to my child's horror, I got sick in the car on the way to camp. THEN, I found a tick in my hair during my lame attempt at teaching this morning. (It's a little hard to teach when only four students show up) Of course, most woman would be running to the internet to look up TICKS and Pregnancy. I, on the other hand, do not need to look it up. Instead, I am firmly convinced that the tick came from my Lush hair products. I've pulled full-fledged flowers from my shampoo before. Instead of putting, "Inspected by 23453," they put the picture of the person who packaged your product. I swear those people are up to no good. It's freaky to have all those people smiling at you in the shower...

Tory Burch is not getting a cent from me

At my grandmother's request (for while she cannot see me, she can sense all the way from Arizona that I'm starting to look terrible in my normal clothes), I went shopping for a few maternity clothes. Motherhood Maternity is out. Mostly because their clothes are ugly. So, I went to A Pea in the Pod. I'm not exactly sure why I went there. They don't sell clothes larger than, well, a large. However, when I walked in, the lanky, yet cute, bubbly sales girl convinced me that I'd "totally be able to fit in the clothes." I should have known she was insane when she smacked me lightly on the arm and said, "Oh, don't be sillly. You're not big at all. We'll find tons of stuff." I think, I'd rather be called a fat cow that be told that I'm not big at all. Well, that bubbly, skinny, salesgirl with the good intentions, pulled every piece of clothing she could find from the racks and NOTHING...nothing fit. Apparently, my boobs are bigger than skinny pregnant ladies' bellies. Despite my annoyance at trying everything in the store on, I felt rather smug in proving my point.

I don't understand. Why is it so hard to find cute pregnancy clothes? I refuse to believe that every other woman in the world fits into those tiny little tops. Woman are always telling me how they gained 40, 50, 70 pounds during pregnancy. (at which point, I get to be smug...). They can't possibly still fit into things..can they?

Oddly, I'm finding much better luck with regular clothes in regular stores: Old Navy summer dresses still work and Lilly Pulitzer. Somehow, normal xl Lilly Pulitzer fit my ever expanding belly perfectly and maternity Lilly that they sell at Pea in the Pod, I can't fit my head in.

When I was finished not finding much, I thought I'd take a peak at the flip flops my friends all wear. Tory Burch flip flops. I went into the Tory Burch store and they didn't have the flip flops my friends wear. All they had were the hot pink jelly flip flops. $125! $125! Are you out of your mind? They are flip flops! To be fair to my friends, whom I adore, and who I wish I could share clothes with, most of them wear the regular Tory Burch flip flops, which don't cost anything close to $125. However, despite the heavy-price tag and despite my horror, I still really really wanted over-priced flip flops. So, the next weekend, I went to Franklin Mills north of Philly, and bought Diane von Furstenberg over-priced flip flops..on SALE.

So while I can't fit into A Pea in the Pod clothes or wear Tory Burch, I am pregnant in Lilly Pulitzer dresses and Diane von Furstenberg flip flops.

1 comment:

  1. you crack me up. i can't see the top pic in this post, which i'm assuming is of you in all your designer gear?

    p.s. i refuse to buy tory birch flip flops. but i do own a TB skirt and a TB tunic. I couldn't help myself. I feel like if my husband can have 2 porsches, why can't I occasionally ditch my Target attire for something incredible? also, i love pink, and the tunic is pink. so there.